By Ben Martinez
We are back with Part 2 of the intriguing origin of movies. If you missed Part 1, click here. Anyway, let's pick up where we left off.
We are back with Part 2 of the intriguing origin of movies. If you missed Part 1, click here. Anyway, let's pick up where we left off.
21. Edison Kinetoscopic Record of a Sneeze (1894)
This is a solo film from Mr. Dickinson, starring a Mr. Fred Ott. Fred was known for his comical sneezing, and had it not been for Edison’s wonderful kinetoscope, we would not have been able to appreciate the comedic prowess of such a sneeze. This film is the first to have ever been copyrighted. Which means, folks, everything before this is completely up for grabs, as far as plagiarism goes.
22. Employees Leaving the Lumiere Factory (1895)
This is one of the first films from the Lumiere brothers. That’s a very big deal. The Lumiere brothers are widely considered to be the first true filmmakers, because they only made films with the intention of sharing them with a public audience. The Lumiere brothers gave the film industry a sort of kick start that led to far more films being made in the later half of the 1890s than the earlier half. This particular film is just a bunch of people leaving a factory. It’s nice to see a scene from everyday life for the common folk from this time period.
23. L’Arroseur Arrose (1895)
Here we have what many refer to as the first comedy movie. I would argue that Glenroy Brothers from 1894 is the first comedy, but there are people who don’t even count that as a movie. To each his own, I say. This film is actually pretty funny though, even by today’s standards. The whole stepping on the hose gag is quite amusing and it would make a great prank, but everything after that is just kind of lame. I’m sure audiences from the 1890s thought the spanking was hilarious, but nowadays most people don’t find that as funny. The hose thing is something I will certainly attempt, however, if and when I get the chance.
24. Annabelle Serpentine Dance (1895)
Remember Anabelle from Annabelle Butterfly Dance? She’s back and better than ever! This is the first ever color live-action film. Whoever was responsible for tinting this did an excellent job. Instead of choosing to make her dress one solid color throughout, it is constantly morphing and changing, which gives it an almost hypnotic effect. Serpentine dances can get a tad repetitive, but the color on this one makes it new and fresh. This film does, however, raise the question of why aren’t more of these films tinted? We know it can be done and that it vastly enhances the quality of the movie, so why do we not see it in other movies? Sadly, I do not have a definitive answer for you. I can only speculate. And you can too! Leave your thoughts in the comments and I’ll do the same.
25. The Execution of Mary, Queen of Scots (1895)
Here we have an example of one of the very first practical effects. It’s pretty convincing too. Of course, there is no gore, and it’s a very clean cut, but it is convincing nonetheless! Early moviegoers must have been absolutely shocked and horrified by this film. They were a very gullible folk, judging from what we’ve seen so far. For example, many audience members were afraid that they would be hit by the trains in all those Lumiere films in which a train enters a station. It seems they really didn’t understand what a movie is.
26 .Transformation by Hats (1895)
This is another Lumiere brothers film in which a kindly looking gentleman wears various costumes and does impersonations. The speed at which he changes his hair and beard is very impressive, and it looks as if this is all done in one shot, which makes it even more impressive. Soon, if they haven’t already, directors will begin to realize they can make transformations happen in the blink of an eye by stopping the recording, making a change, and restarting. This is a trick that was vastly overused in these early years of cinema. We haven’t gotten to that point yet, but it’s coming soon.
27. Bocal Aux Poissans-Rouge (1895)
The title of this film literally translates to “Jar of Red Fish”, and that’s exactly what we get. It’s a forty second shot of some fish in a jar that we can only assume are red. Aquarium videos exist today in copious amounts, they are essentially the aquatic equivalents to the classic fireplace video. Not the kind of thing people will sit down in front of with a bowl of popcorn, but a thing that people will have playing in their homes nonetheless. This can be considered the first film of this sort. But are those fish really red? I’m just supposed to take it on faith that these fish are red? Yeah no I’m no chump, I’m no sucker, I’m no schmuck, and I don’t fall for it, assholes.
28. Ringkampfer (1895)
This movie has an amazing title and an amazing fight scene to go along with it. The whole film is the fight scene, of course, but that’s a good thing. In many ways this fight is better than a lot of the trash we get in modern action films. Today, fight scenes are over-choreographed and full of backflips and synthetic punching noises and just incredibly unrealistic. Fight scenes today should look more like this. Just guys punchin’ other guys. So manly.
29. Arrival of a Train at La Ciotat (1895)
In the very first paragraph of this article I mentioned a film that was considered by many to be the first film ever created. That film is this. This is that film. That is this film. Film is this that. That this film film. That film this that. That that that film. Film film film film. Film. One of the reasons this is considered the first film is because it was the first Lumiere film shown at the first Lumiere public showing. At that premiere, the audience fled in terror because they believed that they were about to be hit by the train. You can’t get that kind of reaction out of an audience today, not even with the biggest IMAX screen and the best 3D technology. It’s a damn shame.
30. The Mechanical Butcher (1895)
The Mechanical Butcher is the first science fiction movie. In it, a live pig is placed inside of a machine and it comes out instantly in the form of butchered meat. It’s really a gross thought since the pig is alive when they put it in there, but it seems incredibly easy and efficient. And for a death that quick, it has to have been painless. I would hate to see a human go in there accidentally, but I could totally see the mafia using it for that in a movie. I wonder where all the blood goes.
31. The Haunted Castle (1896)
Here we have one of the first Georges Melies films ever created and one of the first horror films ever created. I do understand that I’m playing it fast and loose with the word “horror”, but with a title like The Haunted Castle, what else could it be? This movie is not scary at all and hardly even spooky by today’s standards. In fact, the original intention of this film was more to amuse people rather than scare them. So it’s basically The Haunted Mansion from 2003.
32. The Kiss (1896)
The first kiss ever in a motion picture. That being the case, I will call this movie the first romance. It’s pretty uncomfortable to watch. However, the gentleman did have the decency to fix his moustache before going in for the kiss. That was very proper of him. This film does have an awful lot of dialouge, but none of it can be heard. It would be interesting to have someone trained in the art of lip-reading take a look at this and add some subtitles. I cannot do that, but still it would be very interesting.
33. Watermelon Contest (1896)
I was very excited for this film because of the title. I was expecting some really interesting contest to do with watermelons. Maybe even a watermelon throwing contest where we got to see the watermelon smash into thousands of pieces. To say I was let down was an extreme understatement. This was a mildly gross, confusing video. I don’t really understand the purpose of this contest. It’s just 19 seconds of two guys putting watermelon in their mouth and then spitting it out. I’m not even sure who won.
34. Scene from the Coronation of the Czar of Russia (1896)
I guess this is pretty cool. I mean it’s actual real footage of history, so that in itself makes this a cool movie. Just a suggestion, if you play some techno music and take some drugs (just kidding stay in school kids) or something while watching this, it makes the movie 500% cooler. Just sayin’.
35. Querelle Enfantine (1896)
I love this movie. It is fantastic. These babies are certainly going places. Or, were certainly going places when the movie was filmed. I love how ruthless the baby on the right is. It just will not stop attacking the other baby and stealing its stuff and just generally causing trouble, periodically pausing looking at the camera like “That was good right???”. That being said, left baby seems to be very similar to the modern day left shark, in that it is just sitting there taking it, not matching right baby. What a wimp.
36. Lone Fisherman (1896)
Oh man. This one is GREAT. I expected this to be exactly what the name implies, just a man fishing by himself for a minute. Lets be honest, based on the content of previous films, it wouldn’t be that surprising. That being said, I think this film is fantastic. Mostly because of the fact that the title is, in my humble opinion, a hilarious gag. I also love how the man who pushes the fisherman in just can’t handle how hilarious what he just did was. And there’s that mysterious man with the horse and buggy. Will we ever find out what his use in the plot is? I hope so.
37. The Cyclist (1896)
This one is great as well. I love so many things about it. For one thing, I love how serious the cyclist is about these bike tricks. He is so serious about these bike tricks. To be fair, they must require a lot of concentration, they’re pretty impressive. This is basically X games 1896. I am also a huge fan of the crowd in the background. I love how that one guy gets probably a little too nervous and backs up like 10 feet just to be safe.
38. Comic Costume Race (1896)
This film is definitely interesting. Part of that is the confusing nature of this costume race. It seems to me like not everyone got the same costume to put on, therefore making the race unfair. I feel bad for the guy all the way on the right, he seems like he got a really hard costume. Poor thing. That being said though, the center guy fuckin crushes it. You go, center guy.
39. Mckinley at Home, Canton, Ohio (1896)
This is the first ever video of a US president, which is pretty darn cool. Although the coolness is very similar to that of the Russian Czar movie from earlier, in that because it is a piece of history, its cool. I love how they’re just having this leisurely stroll though. It begs the question: what are they talking about? Presidential stuff? Maybe. Most likely, the hot gossip in Canton, Ohio. Now that i’d like to hear.
40. Black Diamond Express (1896)
Yet another glimpse into everyday life from my main man, Tom Edison. Edison seemed to basically only make movies of everyday situations, which is really cool thing. It gives us a real look into how life was. I worry about these workers though, there’s so much smog around them, and that one worker almost got run over by the train. That part was the most interesting part of this film by the way, the almost-collision.
That's it for Part 2! Comment below to tell me what you think. Stay tuned at @NotYetRatedSite and @GiantSheeps for updates on Part 3! BYE!
That's it for Part 2! Comment below to tell me what you think. Stay tuned at @NotYetRatedSite and @GiantSheeps for updates on Part 3! BYE!